I didn’t want to talk about this

I didn’t want to talk about this. I think I’m like most people. We don’t like to talk about abortion. It makes people uncomfortable.

Abortion is heartbreaking. I know people who have had an abortion. It changed them. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t wish they could do things differently. Maybe that’s not the cases for everyone. Maybe there are people who feel great about the choice they made. I don’t understand it. But maybe those people are out there.

I didn’t want to talk about this. However, with all the Planned Parenthood videos that have come out and then the first political debate, I feel the need to share my feelings. I thought about linking to the PP videos, but I just couldn’t. I can’t watch them. Although, if you are pro-choice, I do believe you should watch them. You should know what you are standing for. I’m standing firmly against and watching them would scar me.

And this post isn’t even about those videos.

This is about the question from last nights GOP debate that has so many people upset. Megyn Kelly asked Scott Walker if he would really let a woman die than have an abortion.

I’ve heard a lot of men talk about this question, but I’ve never heard an answer from a woman, from a mother. I’ve heard a lot of men say they would pick their wife in this situation every time.

The question bothered me, too. But not that it was asked. And not even his answer.

As a mother let me answer this question. Every time, every day of the week, if the choice was between me and my baby, I pick the baby every single time. Yes, I know I have young children that need a mother. Yes, I know how hard it would be for my husband. Yes, I know. Yes, it would be a tearful, heartbreaking decision, but it would also be an easy one.

No, I don’t ever want to leave my little boys without a mother. However, I know that God gives every life FOR A REASON, and if God would give me a baby, I know that the baby would be for a reason, that baby would have a purpose. I pick the baby over myself every time.

I don’t know a mother that would pick herself over her child. Born or unborn, the child comes first to the mother.

I find this heartbreaking. I can remember being 4, 5, 6 months pregnant with my boys. I can remember how much I loved them then and how hard we worked to get them, all we had to go through to get them. And I can sit here and cry thinking about what I would have done if the doctors would have said it was me or them.

I had high risk pregnancies. It’s actually possible that this could have happened to me. I was closely monitored because it could have been me or them. And for the record, I would pick them every time.

I believe every life is from God, and every life has a purpose. If it came down to me or the baby I was carrying, I would (do) believe I had served my purpose and that child is going to do great things for the Kingdom of Heaven.

If I am willing to die to keep my already born children alive, how could I do anything short of sacrificing myself for the one I’m carrying inside?

Yesterday was nothing short of divine intervention


I’ve been thinking about God’s timing a lot recently, about how all things work as a part of His divine plan that we just cannot understand on this side of Heaven. Yesterday was an interesting day, to say the least. And without God’s amazing timing it could have worked out so differently than it did.

Depending on how you look at it, yesterday I saved the life of a baby or almost killed a baby. Without God’s amazing timing, that baby would have died yesterday afternoon. I guess I should start at the beginning.

Because of everything going on with the family right now, my weekly schedule has changed quite a bit. I used to go to my mom’s on Wednesdays, but I’ve started going on Thursdays the past couple of weeks. On our way there, I knew I was going to have to stop at the local grocery store, and I considered stopping on my way there rather than on my way home. In the end, I decided just to stop on my way home.

We spend the afternoon together and I ended up getting a slightly later start home than I wanted. While shopping, the boys dragged their feet and basically just made me crazy as I was just wanting to get home. We finally got up to the checkout, and as the cashier started to ring me up, I realized that I had forgotten the one thing my husband had asked me to pick up. I wasn’t going back through the store.

As I loaded the boys and groceries into the truck, I considered texting my husband to see if he really needed what I had forgotten. Then I remembered that the small town we were in had just opened a Dollar General and I could get the forgotten items there. It was the complete opposite direction I had planned on going, but I decided to run over there anyway. We drove around the block and pulled out on the main road.

Heading west, the sun was shining down on us, and it was a little hard to see. A car a little ways ahead of me swerved to go around something. I wondered if it was a bicycle. No, that’s to small to be a bike. Is there a dog in the road?

As I got closer, the object became more clear. IT WAS A BABY WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LANE!

I slammed on my brakes, turned on my flashers and put the truck in park in the middle of the road. There were a couple of cars behind me and I was scared to death that they would swerve around me and hit the baby. I opened my door as fast as I could, hollering to the boys that they were not to move, and motioned to the car behind me to stop. I ran up to this little girl who couldn’t have been much more than a year old toddling down the road.

Where I found her, there were a couple of houses on both sides of the road but no people anywhere. I wasn’t even sure what house she belonged in. A buggy stopped as I reached and picked up the little girl, and a man ran up and started hollering for her parents. I asked if the closest house was hers, but he didn’t know. I carried her up towards the house as another little girl, around five years old, came running up from around the back of the house. The front door opened and her mom came out.

I was so sick and shook up all I could say was, “She was in the road.” I handed the baby over and the woman just stood there looking at me. “She was in the road.” As I started to head back to the truck, the woman said that the child had just been in the yard and thank you.

I got back into my truck and the boys told me how nice it was that I saved that baby. I was just sick. I wanted to throw up. I was shaking.

How amazing is God’s timing? If I had gone over to Mom’s a day earlier like I used to do, I wouldn’t have even been in that county yesterday. If I had gone to the store before going to Mom’s, I wouldn’t have been in that town. If I hadn’t forgotten something, I wouldn’t have been on that road. If that first car hadn’t swerved, I may not have seen her. (Why didn’t they stop?!)

Everything that happened led up to me being in that place at that time.

The next time that something doesn’t seem to go according to your plan, or you forget something at the store and have to make an extra stop, remember this story. Maybe the reasons won’t be as obvious as they were yesterday but know that it’s all a part of His plan.

What happened yesterday was nothing sort of divine intervention. I was at that place at that moment because that was right where God needed me to be.

Mary, Did You Know

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A day to spend with family and friends and thank God for all the blessings in the past year. It also officially starts the Christmas season.

I love this time of year. The weather turns crisp to cold. The snow starts to fall. (Although I haven’t always been a fan, seeing snow through my sons’ eyes makes me appreciate it again.) We have time spent with family and friends. I love the smells and even the cooking, decorating the Christmas tree and drinking hot chocolate. And I love the music. I’m not sure that the handful of weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are long enough for me to get my fill of the music.

So today is starting our Holiday addition of Worship Wednesday. “Mary Did You Know” seems like a really good place to start. And the Pentatonix version I included above is an amazing cover of the song.

I remember holding both of my boys for the first time. It is an amazing thing to hold your baby for the first time. To look down at that little life that you created. To know that you are responsible for that little life. It is amazing and terrifying, all at the same time.

I can’t even begin to imagine what Mary must have been thinking that first Christmas. As she sat there in that stable, surrounded by hay and animals and looked down at the Baby in her arms. Of course, she knew she was holding the Son of God. She knew where this amazing gift she had been given had come from.

As she looked upon the face of that sleeping Child, could she have even begun to imagine the things He would do? I love the line in the song “when you kiss your little Baby, you kiss the face of God.” As she bent and held the sleeping Child to her chest and placed a kiss upon His forehead, did it cross her mind? Or did she just sit in awe of this Life that had come from her?

I believe that all babies are amazing and all babies are a gift from God, but Mary was holding a baby that was ACTUALLY God. And I am sure as she looked upon the Baby, she knew He would do great things. However, I can’t imagine she could have known how great or the sacrifice that sleeping Child would give.

As you begin this holiday season, take a moment and think about that mother and Child. Think about how amazing that moment must have been. So amazing that the shepherds went out and told all about the Child and Luke 2:19 says, “But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Even Mary couldn’t know how amazing it all was going to be.

So amazing that 2000 years later we would still be talking about that night in the stable.


Mary Did You Know

Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your Baby Boy had come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you?

Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kiss the face of God?

Mary did you know?

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nation?
Did you know that your Baby Boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you’re holding is the Great, I Am.

You can find all of the Worship Wednesday posts here.

Jesus was a baby

With Christmas just days away, Jesus as a baby is especially on my heart. Just think about that. Jesus (GOD!) came to us, to be one of us, to feel and experience what we do as we do, and he came as a baby.

I believe that Jesus could have come as an adult if he had chosen, but he chose to come as a baby. He came as the most helpless and innocent of us. It is amazing.

And this brought me to another thought. One that may make people angry. It brought me around to abortion.

What if the Christmas story didn’t take place 2000 years ago? What if it took place today? What if Mary was a young woman today?

Lets tell that story:

Its just before graduation and Mary’s got a problem. She just found out she’s pregnant. She and her boyfriend have talked about getting married, but they’ve never had sex. (Who’s going to believe that?) She’s pretty sure that an angel of the Lord appeared to her and told her that the baby is from God and coming to save us all, but her parents certainly aren’t going to believe that story.

Not knowing what else to do Mary tells her best girl friend what’s happened. Her friend knows just what to do. She tells Mary not to tell anyone. She knows a place. They’ll take care of this problem. Joseph will never know. The world will never know. It’s no big deal. These things happen. In and out. Easy-peasy. Problem solved.

Think about it.

The argument for abortion is its a woman’s choice or it’s not a baby, a person, until the woman chooses it to be or until it’s born.

Was the child Mary was carrying not a baby, not Jesus, not THE SAVIOR until Mary chose for him to be? Was he not The Christ even before she knew she was pregnant? What if Mary CHOSE that it was too much work to be the mother of Our Savior? Or that it was too much to try and explain this child to her friends and family? Or maybe she just wasn’t ready.

Now I know that every child conceived is not The Lord. However, if you believe that Mary’s child was The Lord before he was born, how can you say that every other child conceived isn’t a child at the moment of conception?

Now I’ve never been in a position where a pregnancy, even unplanned, has been anything but a welcome addition, a moment of joy (even when that moment was followed by pure panic). I don’t know what it feels like to not be overjoyed by the life growing inside me. But I know myself enough to know that there is no decision, no matter the situation.

If you’re reading this and made a decision different than I would have made or that I believe is right, I want you to know that I love you. Even if I don’t know you I love you. I believe you made the wrong choice. I hate the choice you made, but that does not change my feelings about you.

God knew me before I was born. He knew me before I was conceived. Jesus was a person before Mary knew she was pregnant and so was every other baby. It’s one way or the other.

As you get together with your families and celebrate Jesus’s birthday, as you hear the Christmas story, as you look at your nativity sets and exchange gifts, remember that Jesus came as a baby. And he was alive before he took his first breath.

Jesus was a baby.