Just Be Held



This song seems so fitting for this week. By now, unless you’ve been living in a cave, you have heard that Robin Williams died this week most likely by his own hand. Death is always hard. Suicide is always hard.

This death has left us all talking about depression and suicide. It’s left us wondering how someone who seems to have it all could be left feeling so hopeless, how someone who brought us so much joy and laughter could have been so alone inside.

And maybe it’s not fair or even right that this death is getting so much attention over others. I know to me it’s almost like I knew him. He was a part of our worlds through his movies and television shows. One of the first movies I really remember seeing in the theater was Hook.

There’s been a lot of talk on social media saying if you haven’t experienced depression, if you haven’t contemplated suicide, you shouldn’t be talking about this. I read Matt Walsh’s blog in which he said that Robin Williams didn’t die from depression but made the choice to end his life. I was shocked and horrified by the number of people who commented on it saying Matt should be killed or kill himself.

I’m not sure if the masses will think it’s ok for me to write about this or not. I have suffered through intense bouts with depression to the point where I have little to no memory of those time periods. However, I have never considered suicide.

I have suffered through periods of intense despair. I have laid on the couch in tears until there are none left feeling unable to move. I have felt alone and that no one else could ever understand what I was going through.

I have had times where I was so lost in the storm that I forgot to look to the cross.

But I have also had hope and faith and love surround me during those times. I’ve had people to talk to and help pull me back up.

Whether it be depression or just a hard time you are going through, there are times we all feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have this need to be strong. Don’t show them your weakness. Put on a happy face. And you can only carry that kind of weight for a time before your knees give out.

I love the pictures this song paints. How amazing would it feel if instead of holding on to all the stresses and hurts we would just put it down and let God hold us? There have been times these past weeks where I’ve been stressed and things aren’t going as I would like. And then I listen to this song and I can feel myself letting go. It’s almost as if His arms are physically around me.

If you are suffering, I would like to remind you that even if you are literally alone in this world, you are not alone. If you go to Him, God will hold you and never let you go. Instead of looking at the storm, look to the cross.  Let the cross be a symbol of love and hope.



Just Be Held

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you hanging on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
You’re world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
You’re world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held




You can find all of the Worship Wednesday posts here.

**Depression is a serious disease. Suicide is not the answer. If you are considering suicide, please know that there is always hope and someone does care about you. I care about you. Find a preacher, a priest, a doctor, a friend, a family member or even a stranger to talk to. There is always a choice. There is always hope.

This Is Now

I love music, and I will listen to almost any kind of music. Because of this, it makes sense that my favorite form of worship is song. Worship through music, whether in a church service or in my truck, is when I feel closest to God. He speaks to me through song more than any other way.

After my last post, my mother-in-law brought me the newest Casting Crowns CD, Thrive. ┬áToday I was finally able to listen to it since we spent a good amount of time in the truck. The crazy little boys love music and were more than willing to listen to “Grandma’s music” (although Lion King music was requested once).

It is an amazing CD. I can’t say I love every song on it mostly because I haven’t listened closely to them all. When I find a song that moves me, I want to listen to it repeatedly. We found such a song today.


This Is Now

Standing at the water’s edge
I dropped my dreams when I dropped my nets
No hesitation, no regrets
I followed You
But that was then
And this is now
You washed my feet and You changed my name
I swore I’d never be the same
But just like the tides, I guess people change
‘Cause that was then
And this is now

I wish I could go back but I don’t know how
I remember when I stood my ground
I swore I’d never let you down
I want to be that man again
But that was then
And this is now

I watched a blind man lift his head
And look his Savior in the eyes
I heard a dead man take a breath
Dropped to my knees as I watched him rise
And I felt the sea beneath my feet
As I stepped out on the angry waves
But You s the storm raging within
You reached out and calmed me then
But this is now


Just when I thought my sin had closed the door
I see my Savior standing on the shore
With arms open wide
Just like the first time You called my name
You said that was then
And this is now

My child, I bore your cross, I wore your crown
When you couldn’t come to Me, My love came down
So take My hand, I’ll lead you out
‘Cause that was then
And this is now

My child, I bore your cross, I wore your crown
When you couldn’t come to Me, My love came down
So take My hand, I’ll lead you out
You’ll never be that man again
‘Cause that was then
And this is now

The song is based on the story of Peter. Peter, the disciple who loved Jesus. He was a fisherman who became a fisher of men. He was the man who said, “If I have to die with You, I will not betray You!” to Jesus (Mark 14:31 NKJV) and then went on to betray Him not once but three times.

How must Peter have felt? How have we all felt when we’ve fallen short, as we all do? Those moments of doubt when we can’t believe that Jesus could still love us. Those times when we realize we’ve strayed from His path and think there’s no way back. That He loved us once, but that was then, before this happened.

Every day Jesus tells us that this is now. The past is forgotten. He knows we will all fall short. He knows we will make mistakes, that we will stray. And He loves us anyway. He bore our cross. He wore our crown.

Jesus knew Peter was going to betray Him. But even knowing that, Jesus told Peter, “And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church.” (Matthew 16:18) If Jesus could use Peter to build His church after Peter had denied knowing Him in His time of need, what could Jesus use us for if we would just follow Him?

Jesus doesn’t ask us for perfection. He asks us to love Him and follow Him. And when we fall short, He tells us to repent and to go and sin no more. Ask for forgiveness, and the slate is wiped clean.

That was then.

This is now.

It truly will be a Glorious Day

Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been listening to the song Glorious Day (Living He Loved Me) by Casting Crowns whenever the crazy little boys and I are in the truck together. It has quickly turned into one of my favorite songs.


One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me


One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again


One day the trumpets will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine


Glorious day, Oh, glorious day


It is an amazing song with powerful visuals. Jesus was in Heaven, and the earth was covered in sin. He came here knowing what was coming. He was nailed to the cross for me (and you). And then He beat death, He rose from the grave, He is alive.

The end of the song is the most powerful part to me. Can you even imagine how amazing it will be when the trumpets sound to announce His arrival? The amazing sight the sky will be when it shines with His grace and glory?

Glorious day really is the only way to describe it.

And as much as I love this song, there is something that makes it extra special. Whenever we listen to it, the youngest crazy little boy sings along. He started out just singing whenever they sing day. Now he sings along with the entire chorus and part of the verses.

We are doing our best to raise God-fearing, Christ-loving boys. I’m not sure there are words to describe how my heart fills with joy and praise listening to my four-year old sing in worship.

Thank you, God, for letting me miss that Sunday at church.
Thank you for my church putting the sermons with music on CDs.
Thank you for that song being on that cd.
Thank you for little boys who love You and music.
Thank you for the experience of them singing along.
Thank you for Jesus.