This season I’m thankful for God’s perfect timing

We are two days away from Thanksgiving and over two months since my last post. This has been a rough year. I haven’t been writing nearly as much as I would like. There has been so much going on and so many thoughts and feelings that I’ve wanted to write down, but when I sit at the computer they seem too personal and private to share with the whole world. I actually did sit down one day and write a long post about how the boys have been dealing with the grieving process since Grandpa died. I got all the way to the end and then hit save instead of publish.

Emotions run high and low and, although I know Grandma would never tell me to censor the words I use here, I didn’t want to be responsible for more low emotions. So I write out long posts in my head and save them for a day when everything isn’t as close to the surface. It’s not that we will ever be “over” Grandpa’s death, but someday November will come and we won’t just sit around for days crying. You see, November 14th was Grandpa’s birthday, and yesterday Grandma and Grandpa would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary.

If all of that doesn’t make me emotional enough, I got some extremely disappointing and confusing news yesterday. We were in the middle of something big. It felt so right and like God had led us to this place in this time and all of the many, many pieces were falling into place at just the right moments. It was so close we could feel it. And it felt so right and we could all imagine just exactly how it was going to be. And then yesterday we got the news that it probably, most likely is not going to happen.

It was one of those punch you in the stomach, can’t believe what you’ve just been told, what do we do now, moments. And, yes, there is a very, VERY slim chance that all the pieces line back up and our plan continues, but that is just so very unlikely at this point.

And it just leaves us all confused. What do we do now? What we were moving towards had been prayed over day after day after day, by not just those directly involved but others who prayed that God would show us the right way. And we all prayed that if we were moving in the wrong direction that God would stop us and not let us get there. But if we were moving in the wrong direction, why did God let us get so far? Why did he answer the first, second, third, fourth steps with yes just to give us a no about 6 hours before the last step?

And with all these things adding up, it’s hard to remember to be thankful for what we do have. And then I remember that God has perfect timing. And for reasons that I can’t see today, these things were supposed to happen in this order at this time. I can even trace the decisions and steps made back to when Grandpa first got sick, if not before. There is a big plan and smaller plans happening all around us that we can not see, and that we may never see.

I believe that someday (hopefully in the near future but maybe not), I will understand why we took the steps that we have taken and why we were stopped in this spot at this time.

This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for. I have an amazing family, a fantastic husband that I can not imagine life without, 2crazylittleboys that bring me such overwhelming joy, a God that loves me so much He was willing to die for me, a roof over my head and food on my table. I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have been blessed with so much.

And this week as we work to make sense of what’s happened, I’m going to remember to be thankful for my God who stopped us from making a decision that could have harmed us all. Instead of focusing of what could have been and what I wanted, I’m going to remember that this is what we prayed for. Apparently we were on the wrong path, and now we are waiting for God to point us the in the next direction we should go.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving. May God bless you with fun and food and family (and football!).

Thank you

Dear Duracell, Seattle Seahawks, and especially Derrick Coleman,

I just wanted to thank you all for the amazing commercial you made. My five year old son and I watched it together today, and then we watched it again and again. It meant so much to us.

You see, my son has moderately-severe hearing loss and has been wearing hearing aids for the last year. Those hearing aids have changed his world. But they have also brought something else to all of us. Cameron has always paid close attention to things because he couldn’t hear, and he continues to pay close attention to details today. He has noticed that most people don’t have hearing aids.

There aren’t a lot of characters in kids books or movies with hearing aids. And he’s certainly never seen a football player with hearing aids. I wish you could have seen the expression on his face as we watched the commercial. At first, he seemed a little confused by the big guy with hearing aids. Then he got excited when he saw the boy with hearing aids. “He has hearing aids like me!” And then I just saw amazement on his face as he realized that the boy with hearing aids grew up and is playing football with them.

My little boy loves football. Really he loves all sports. I didn’t know it before today, but he apparently didn’t know that you could play sports if you have hearing aids. While we were watching the commercial for the second or third time, Cameron asked me if the boy got big and then played football. I said yes. Cameron then said to me, “Can I play football when I get big with my hearing aids?” You bet you can, buddy. I wish you could have seen how his whole face lit up.

The commercial on its own is something special. As a mom of a boy with hearing loss, its something that touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes. But to a boy with hearing loss, the commercial is something amazing that brought the whole world to his finger tips.

Now I know that the chances of Cameron playing football in the NFL are very slim, but you have made him see that it is a possibility. And maybe if you can play football with hearing aids, you can do anything with them. Maybe he can dream big because this story was shared with the world. Before today we didn’t know there was a professional football player with hearing loss. And now Cameron knows that his hearing aids don’t have to keep him from working towards his dreams.

Now, to be honest, we’re a family of Bears fans, but this weekend we’ll all be rooting for the Seahawks.

Thank you so much. Thank you for this story. Thank you for working hard and not giving up. Thank you for showing my son that his dreams can come true in a way that I never could show him.

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If you haven’t seen this amazing commercial you can find it here: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/01/14/the-viral-nfl-ad-that-literally-gave-us-goosebumps/