An Open Letter to Glenn Beck

Dear Glenn,

Friday night I wrote a blog post asking my readers to watch your show this evening. I didn’t know what you were going to say. I just knew that God wanted me to share that message. I shared with you what I had written and you replied to me. You said the kindest things about my faith. That alone is a story that I will tell for the rest of my life. It meant so much to me.

This morning I watched the radio program and listened as you gave teasers about what this evening’s show was going to be about. Let’s be honest, it made me extremely nervous. I don’t know that I could have been more nervous if I had actually been on TV with you. I had put myself out there only on faith in God that your message was going to be important.

I was sick to my stomach all day waiting for your show to begin. But at five o’clock as you began to speak, I felt completely at peace. I’m not sure you were more than four or five sentences in before I knew you were going to share about your health.

What an amazing and terrifying story.

I could relate to so much of your journey for I have a similar one. I started having health problems at 19. I started having dizzy spells which would cause me to fall. I had such horrible headaches, and I started having terrifying problems with my eyesight. I was originally diagnosed with an earache and put on medication that caused my heart to race so fast I thought I was going to die.

Eventually I was diagnosed with a rare condition called Psuedotumor Cerebri, a fake brain tumor. It’s hard to diagnose because my body behaved as if I had a brain tumor but there was no tumor in my head. Over a period of eight or so years, my symptoms would come and go.

You told tonight about a doctor telling you that it was your faith in God alone that caused you to be able to get out of bed. During my last flair up, my doctor told me that there was so much pressure inside my head he had no idea how I was able to stand or see. He was sure that there would be lasting, permanent damage to my eyesight.

I went through the treatment, again. There was a lot of prayer during this time. We prayed not only for me to be well but also for me to be healed. I did become well and my doctor was amazed that I had no issues with my eyes. I remember clearly him telling me that if I had walked into his office for the first time that day he would have no idea I ever had Psuedotumor Cerebri, an uncurable disease.

My journey was much different from yours but so very similar. God truly performs miracles still today.

I remember those times when your programs changed. I remember how odd I thought it was at the time. I remember wondering what was going on. I never thought that you didn’t care anymore. I knew there had to be more to the story than what I had. There was a couple of times I would change the channel or just turn the TV off, but I kept coming back because I knew that whatever was going on it was important.

The message of love is such an important one. It feels as if so much of the world has forgotten that we need to love one another. And sometimes I wonder if people have forgotten what it means to love. Loving someone isn’t always agreeing with them. Love isn’t even always liking someone. Jesus told us to love one another. He never said we had to agree or even like each other as long as we love each other.

Loving someone means wanting the best for them. It is possible to love those you dislike or that dislike you. That is a message that you have been spreading. I love every time someone comes at you with anger or dislike for what they believe you are and you respond with love and kindness, to the point where you even tell them you love them. And mean it. How amazing would the world be in everyone responded like that?

I’m very excited about the stories you’re going to share with us. Man in the Moon was an amazing story. I was disappointed that we were unable to see it live but so happy when you shared it on TV. Not only did I love it, but my four-year old son asks to watch it on a regular basis, and in fact, he got mad at me tonight when I said it was bedtime and he would have to watch it tomorrow. I know you will share stories that I can share with my boys.

I am so excited for our journey forward from here. I am excited to set the world on fire with love and kindness and hope with you. It feels as if so many are feeling as if they are without hope. Hope is an amazing thing and is what keeps us moving forward rather than crumbling under the pressures the world.

In my blog, I try to write about my real life. I’ve talked about the physical and emotional hurts I’ve gone through. I’ve told of hard days I’ve had. Yesterday I wrote about how grouchy I was for absolutely no good reason. And although my audience is so very much smaller than yours, I believe you are right that, regardless of the size, audiences connect when we share the truth rather than just the best of the best.

I told my readers on Friday that I had no idea why God wanted me to share with them that they should watch your show tonight. Sitting here tonight, I don’t know how your show affected them, but I know how it affected me. I know I’m supposed to be doing something. I believe I’m right where I’m supposed to be. This is going to be amazing. God is doing amazing things and I’m thankful for my little part in His big plan.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

#LetsTellOurStory

Just Be Held

 

 

This song seems so fitting for this week. By now, unless you’ve been living in a cave, you have heard that Robin Williams died this week most likely by his own hand. Death is always hard. Suicide is always hard.

This death has left us all talking about depression and suicide. It’s left us wondering how someone who seems to have it all could be left feeling so hopeless, how someone who brought us so much joy and laughter could have been so alone inside.

And maybe it’s not fair or even right that this death is getting so much attention over others. I know to me it’s almost like I knew him. He was a part of our worlds through his movies and television shows. One of the first movies I really remember seeing in the theater was Hook.

There’s been a lot of talk on social media saying if you haven’t experienced depression, if you haven’t contemplated suicide, you shouldn’t be talking about this. I read Matt Walsh’s blog in which he said that Robin Williams didn’t die from depression but made the choice to end his life. I was shocked and horrified by the number of people who commented on it saying Matt should be killed or kill himself.

I’m not sure if the masses will think it’s ok for me to write about this or not. I have suffered through intense bouts with depression to the point where I have little to no memory of those time periods. However, I have never considered suicide.

I have suffered through periods of intense despair. I have laid on the couch in tears until there are none left feeling unable to move. I have felt alone and that no one else could ever understand what I was going through.

I have had times where I was so lost in the storm that I forgot to look to the cross.

But I have also had hope and faith and love surround me during those times. I’ve had people to talk to and help pull me back up.

Whether it be depression or just a hard time you are going through, there are times we all feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have this need to be strong. Don’t show them your weakness. Put on a happy face. And you can only carry that kind of weight for a time before your knees give out.

I love the pictures this song paints. How amazing would it feel if instead of holding on to all the stresses and hurts we would just put it down and let God hold us? There have been times these past weeks where I’ve been stressed and things aren’t going as I would like. And then I listen to this song and I can feel myself letting go. It’s almost as if His arms are physically around me.

If you are suffering, I would like to remind you that even if you are literally alone in this world, you are not alone. If you go to Him, God will hold you and never let you go. Instead of looking at the storm, look to the cross.  Let the cross be a symbol of love and hope.

 

 

Just Be Held

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you hanging on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
You’re world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
You’re world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

 

 

 

You can find all of the Worship Wednesday posts here.

**Depression is a serious disease. Suicide is not the answer. If you are considering suicide, please know that there is always hope and someone does care about you. I care about you. Find a preacher, a priest, a doctor, a friend, a family member or even a stranger to talk to. There is always a choice. There is always hope.

The promise of the rainbow

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(photo credit Liz Stump)

 

After the rain stopped, God put a rainbow in the sky as a promise to never flood the Earth again. But it is also a promise of love, a reminder He is with us. Let the rainbow be a reminder this too shall pass. The sun will shine again tomorrow.

 

 

 

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I’m taking part in a 50 word blogging challenge.