Has Anyone Fed the Fish?

On Saturday, I shared with you how the Zombie Apocalypse is going to begin. Yesterday, the whole family spent the day in our pajamas resting with the hopes of Monday everyone being well again.

So much for that idea. Last night, Cameron started throwing up again and it has continued into today (although not nearly as bad as Saturday was).

I did get one decent nights sleep to keep the zombie-ness at bay. However, through my coffee fueled caffeine haze, I’ve noticed some other things that happen when kids are sick.

1. Of course, is Zombie-Mom.

This is important enough to mention it again. For the warning signs and what to do, check out Saturday’s post.

2. Hands-off Dad

For the record, this is not a complaint. Dad is to keep a safe distance from sick kids. He is the breadwinner and must go to work. He can not go to work if he is also throwing up. He also must be well for all the random trips to the store to get supplies for Zombie-Mom and sick kids. Because Mom is a zombie, this will require more than one trip. As soon as Dad gets home, Mom will remember one more thing we have to have.

3. There are never enough pillows, blankets, sheets.

Without fail, your sick child will throw up on every blanket you try to wrap around them. And their pillow. And your pillow. And the spare pillow.

Which leads to

4. You will run out of laundry detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets and vinegar (which makes a great fabric softener).

Every time you turn around you will be starting another load of laundry. This is a never-ending process. You may also find that your washing machine may sound like there is a monster inside it trying to break out. It is almost impossible to make the washer level when you put pillows in it. This also leads to complaints about the noise said washer is making.

5. Pet fish may die.

Seriously, does anyone know if I fed the fish today? What about yesterday? And while we’re talking about it someone should probably clean their tank. And maybe feed them.

6. You will have a large supply of juice and crackers. They will be the wrong juice and crackers.

The goal is to get some food and liquids into the sick child. Our go-to’s are juice and crackers. Something that will hopefully settle the child’s stomach. Of course, the child doesn’t want those crackers. They are the wrong size/shape/flavor. The juice? Also wrong flavor/color. It doesn’t matter what crackers and juice you get. Just know they will be the wrong ones.

7. Well child will suddenly need 3000% more attention than on a normal day.

Most of this attention will be needed when the sick child is throwing up or you are trying to clean up the sick child. Expect the well child to stand right in your way, trying to hand you a book as you are running to find the bucket for the sick child.

And the worst part for us today is this:

8.

The view from our front door

The view from our front door

 

It’s snowing. And all my sick child really wants to do is play in the snow. Not today, dude. And probably not tomorrow.

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A Mom of Sick Kids or a Zombie? You Decide.

We had a big day planned for today. Our downtown bookstore was having their monthly game day where you can go and play the board games they sell. Then the boys were having a sleepover with Grandpa and Grandma. My husband and I had a big night out planned (which probably meant being at home asleep by nine since we are wild and crazy.).

Oh, how things never seem to go according to plans. I had been asleep for about an hour when Connor started throwing up. Not to be outdone, Cameron then began to throw up as well.

Grabbing buckets, towels, wash clothes, and clean pillows, I settled down with them and slept for about ten minutes or so before one or the other was sick again.

Dump buckets, wipe mouths, grab clean pajama shirts. Try to sleep. Hear noise and jump back up. It’s nothing. Sleep for ten minutes. Hear noise. Grab bucket. No! Not the floor! The bucket! The bucket!

Motherhood changes you. Before I had kids, just the sound so someone throwing up would make me throw up. Now I can clean up kids in my sleep. I’ve been thrown up on and cleaned everything up before jumping in the shower. I’ve had kids throw up in my hair and down my shirt. I’ve tried to “catch” it in my hands. (Seriously?! What is wrong with Moms that we do this?)

I’m pretty sure that being the mom of sick kids is kind of like being a zombie. Maybe sick kids turn moms into zombies and this is how the Zombie Apocalypse is going to start.

1. Zombies don’t sleep. Moms of sick kids don’t sleep.

Last night I had one hour of uninterrupted sleep before the sickness invaded our home. For the next eight hours I slept for five to ten minutes at a time, jumping at every noise positive that it was a child throwing up. For the record, it normally was. If you see me walking with my arms out saying, “Coffee! Coffee!” (or wine!) I would suggest that you just silently hand it over and move out of the way.

2. Zombies eat anything they can get their hands on. Moms of sick kids eat anything they can find fast.

The sickness and throwing up didn’t end with daylight. It has continued ALL DAY. I had to move fast to grab food between all the sickness. And I guess this goes with the next point…

3. Zombies don’t care what’s happening around them when they are eating. Moms of sick kids can take a bite of lunch and then run with the bucket to the child throwing up and not miss a beat.

Moms and zombies are gross. Yep, I managed to eat lunch between times of children throwing up. Eat now and fast or don’t eat at all.

4. Zombies smell bad. Moms of sick kids smell bad.

Seriously. I’m not sure if it’s rotting flesh or if moms of sick kids just need a shower. If anyone out there knows how to take a shower when your kids are throwing up nonstop feel free to share. Moms of sick kids and zombies don’t know how bad they smell. I sprayed myself with lavender Lysol. That counts, right? Sure, they are both napping, but we all know that as soon as I get in the shower the vomiting will begin again.

And 5. Zombies avoid the sun. Moms of sick kids dread the sun coming up.

“No! No! Not the sun! How is this possible?! I haven’t had any sleep yet! It can’t be morning already! Noooooooooo!”

I guess the point is that I’m pretty sure I’m a mom of sick kids, but I might be a zombie. It’s really hard to tell. The important thing to remember is that you should probably just hand me that cup of coffee (or glass of wine) and pretend you don’t notice that I haven’t brushed my hair or the smell.

Oh, Lord, please help these boys get well. And please don’t let me catch the sickness.

Coming up next, a sick mom or a zombie? 😃

Happy Halloween

Tomorrow is Halloween. I’ve shared my thoughts on Christmas and Santa Claus. I’ve told you where I stand on the Easter Bunny.  So where do I stand on Halloween? Is it a satanic holiday that we stay completely away from? Is it all just fun and we go all out?

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I guess you could find us somewhere right in the middle. Yes, the boys have costumes. Yes, we went to a Halloween party last weekend. Yes, we are going to do a little trick-or-treating this year.

I believe Halloween is just like everything else. If you want it to be satanic, you can make it that way.  You can also worship Santa Claus at Christmas and make that holiday anything but holy. It’s a matter of where your heart is, and our hearts are good.

Of course, there are things that I dislike about Halloween. Honestly I despise anything where you ask people to give you something (this includes bridal and baby showers). I can’t stand the idea of going to strangers and asking them for candy. When I was little, on the handful of Halloweens we actually went trick-or-treating, we would go up and down our street. We knew everyone. We currently live in a neighborhood where there aren’t a lot of kids and few houses even turn their lights on. Each of the last three years, we’ve had exactly two trick-or-treaters.

If there’s no one handing out candy in our neighborhood, then where can we go? I really don’t like the idea of driving to another neighborhood to go trick-or-treating. (Although we have been invited to go with friends in their neighborhoods.) Instead, we put on our costumes and go see the grandparents. We are going to take part in our town’s business trick-or-treating in the afternoon, and we will spend the evening at home waiting for those two trick-or-treaters that will stop by.

And don’t get me started on the costumes. Halloween may be the one time I’m grateful to not have a little girl. It was hard enough finding appropriate costumes for my boys. Have you seen the little girl costumes? The little girl police costume has a short, frilly skirt, handcuffs, and fingerless gloves. Why are we sexualizing our little girls?

For my boys the costumes were slightly easier. However, the first costume Connor picked up was a zombie doctor. Why are there gruesome zombie costumes for four-year olds? And then, because he is big for his age, the age appropriate costume he really wanted didn’t come in his size. Thank goodness I had that elephant costume in the closet.

Earlier this month we went to our local orchard. There was a hayride out to the pumpkin patch. The boys loved it, and they got to pick out their own pumpkins. Instead of carving them, I gave the boys paint and paintbrushes (and their fingers) and let them paint them. They were so pleased with the results and put their pumpkins on the front porch. (Note: if you let kids paint pumpkins with washable paint, set the pumpkins outside and it rains, the paint will wash off.)

There is nothing wrong with pumpkins or jack-o-lanterns. I’m pretty sure God loves pumpkins since He made them. Unless you are kneeling down and worshipping your pumpkins, I don’t see anything satanic about our pumpkins,

So we have our wholesome, age appropriate costumes, our pumpkins on the porch, and our trick-or-treating plan, and I think that’s okay. We’ve had the talk so they know that anything scary that might see is pretend, although we are doing our best to stay away from the scary stuff. We are going to get some candy and remember to say thank you. We are going to walk through downtown and interact with the local businesses. We are going to hold open doors and wait our turn. There will be no satanic rituals in our Halloween.

I was wracking my brain this afternoon trying to find good holiday comparison for Halloween. It took me a while to come up with the right way to describe my feelings about it, but I finally figured it out. Halloween is a child’s St. Patrick’s Day. Sure, it probably meant something when it first started and it may still mean that to some people today. However, today St. Patrick’s Day is about green beer and Halloween is about costumes and candy.

The most important thing is to guard your heart. Everything that doesn’t move you to God will move you away from God. If you let it, anything can be turned evil.

And if you are looking for us tomorrow evening, you can find us at home with the porch light on waiting for that random van that happens to be driving down our road and stops.

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